Top tips for writing your own promises.

 
Within a ceremony you can make promises and vows or just a promise or just a vow.   There is often a little confusion about what is a vow/promise because people talk of vows and promises as the same thing, indeed vows often start with the phrase “I promise”.

Personally, I always think that the wording of vows reflect the more formal declarations being made and are usually made when giving or receiving rings.
Promises on the other hand are much more personal and are more reflective of you as a couple and your hopes and dreams for the future. Promises can often be written in the form of a letter.
 
Here are a few ideas you might like to think about when you start to write your promises

Don’t forget to say “I love you”

Talk about the fact you plan to always be there for your partner

Add some personal promises which are unique to you such as promising to

• Always move the spiders out of the shower
• Buy your partner’s favourite cheese
• Dance in the kitchen
• Make an early morning cuppa
• Binge watch TV together
• Make time each day to listen
• Walk the dog

 
When writing your promises avoid using words like “always” and “never”  as no one is perfect so it is hard to promise perfection – what you are promising is to be the very best you can be.

Don’t worry about being too cheesy.  If what you say is heartfelt then nothing is too cheesy.

It is okay to say something to make your partner laugh.
 
 
 
It is always hard to start with a blank piece of paper so here are a couple of questions to ask yourself before you begin
 
How long should the promises be?
Discuss this with your partner and agree on a word count.  I would suggest no more than 200 words.
 
Will you share inside jokes or would you rather keep things more generic?
Again best to discuss this before you start writing
 
Will your promises lean more to the humorous side or sentimental? Or be a mixture of both?
From personal experience I think a mixture of both works well, that way you can achieve a good balance and avoid being too “mushy” or too “jokey” .
 
Will we keep our promises secret and only share them on the day with our partner ?
Lots of couples like to do this but remember to send a copy of your promise to your Celebrant.  This means that on the day they will have a copy of your words should you forget them.  It also means that your Celebrant can ensure that the promises are of a similar length and tone. 
 
 
Please feel free to contact me if you need any further advice.