Writing a letter can be a little daunting.  We are all so used to firing off a text or email that when faced with a blank sheet of paper on which to express our love we freeze.

Exchanging love letters during a couple’s ceremony can enhance your ceremony.  They can be read together at a point in the future and each time you read them they will remind you of your special day.
 
Here are my top five tips on how to write a love letter.

1.  Hand write the letter
2. Select stationary which is appropriate to your personality and sentiment.
3. Write a draft and set it aside for a short while and then reread.  Does it convey all you wish to say?
4. Make your letter about your love, say why your partner is special and talk about your hopes for the future together
5. Date your letter for posterity’s sake.  

Here are my top tips for writing the vows for your ceremony

• Don't wait until the last minute. Plan to have your vows written three weeks before your wedding. This way you have time to practice and just in case the wedding nerves kick in you could always write them on a card which you can use on the day.

• Make a list of all your thoughts. Jot down all the things that come to mind about your spouse or marriage. Revisit these notes later and highlight your favourite items to be the starting points for your vows.

• Write up to three drafts. Take a few days—even a week—to give you and your vows some space. Go back and reread them up to three times, but try to stop there. Continuously rewriting has its own challenges.

• Don't try to include everything. It's understandable to want to fit everything you're feeling into your vows—but in reality, you just can't include it all.  If you have lots more to say why not consider writing a love letter.

 
Within a ceremony you can make promises and vows or just a promise or just a vow.   There is often a little confusion about what is a vow/promise because people talk of vows and promises as the same thing, indeed vows often start with the phrase “I promise”.

Personally, I always think that the wording of vows reflect the more formal declarations being made and are usually made when giving or receiving rings.
Promises on the other hand are much more personal and are more reflective of you as a couple and your hopes and dreams for the future. Promises can often be written in the form of a letter.
 
Here are a few ideas you might like to think about when you start to write your promises

Don’t forget to say “I love you”

Talk about the fact you plan to always be there for your partner

Add some personal promises which are unique to you such as promising to

• Always move the spiders out of the shower
• Buy your partner’s favourite cheese
• Dance in the kitchen
• Make an early morning cuppa
• Binge watch TV together
• Make time each day to listen
• Walk the dog

 
When writing your promises avoid using words like “always” and “never”  as no one is perfect so it is hard to promise perfection – what you are promising is to be the very best you can be.

Don’t worry about being too cheesy.  If what you say is heartfelt then nothing is too cheesy.

It is okay to say something to make your partner laugh.
 
 
 
It is always hard to start with a blank piece of paper so here are a couple of questions to ask yourself before you begin
 
How long should the promises be?
Discuss this with your partner and agree on a word count.  I would suggest no more than 200 words.
 
Will you share inside jokes or would you rather keep things more generic?
Again best to discuss this before you start writing
 
Will your promises lean more to the humorous side or sentimental? Or be a mixture of both?
From personal experience I think a mixture of both works well, that way you can achieve a good balance and avoid being too “mushy” or too “jokey” .
 
Will we keep our promises secret and only share them on the day with our partner ?
Lots of couples like to do this but remember to send a copy of your promise to your Celebrant.  This means that on the day they will have a copy of your words should you forget them.  It also means that your Celebrant can ensure that the promises are of a similar length and tone. 
 
 
Please feel free to contact me if you need any further advice.