Within a ceremony you can make promises and vows or just a promise or just a vow. There is often a little confusion about what is a vow/promise because people talk of vows and promises as the same thing, indeed vows often start with the phrase “I promise”. Personally, I always think that the wording of vows reflect the more formal declarations being made and are usually made when giving or receiving rings. Promises on the other hand are much more personal and are more reflective of you as a couple and your hopes and dreams for the future. Promises can often be written in the form of a letter. Here are a few ideas you might like to think about when you start to write your promises Don’t forget to say “I love you” Talk about the fact you plan to always be there for your partner Add some personal promises which are unique to you such as promising to
When writing your promises avoid using words like “always” and “never” as no one is perfect so it is hard to promise perfection – what you are promising is to be the very best you can be. Don’t worry about being too cheesy. If what you say is heartfelt then nothing is too cheesy. It is okay to say something to make your partner laugh. It is always hard to start with a blank piece of paper so here are a couple of questions to ask yourself before you begin How long should the promises be? Discuss this with your partner and agree on a word count. I would suggest no more than 200 words. Will you share inside jokes or would you rather keep things more generic? Again best to discuss this before you start writing Will your promises lean more to the humorous side or sentimental? Or be a mixture of both? From personal experience I think a mixture of both works well, that way you can achieve a good balance and avoid being too “mushy” or too “jokey” . Will we keep our promises secret and only share them on the day with our partner ? Lots of couples like to do this but remember to send a copy of your promise to your Celebrant. This means that on the day they will have a copy of your words should you forget them. It also means that your Celebrant can ensure that the promises are of a similar length and tone. Please feel free to contact me if you need any further advice.
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You can hold a Naming ceremony anywhere, your home, a local hall, outside or anywhere that can accommodate the number of your friends and family you wish to invite. The difference between a Naming ceremony and a Christening is how the child is welcomed. In a Naming ceremony a child is welcomed into their circle of family and friends and their wider community. In a Baptism the child is welcomed into a faith. These two things are not mutually exclusive and you may wish to hold both for your child. I am often asked what is the purpose of a Naming ceremony - especially since everyone already knows the name that has been given to a child. To answer this question we need to look at the purpose of a Naming ceremony. The purpose of a Naming ceremony is for friends and family to witness the promises which are being made to the child for their future health and well being. These promises are made by the parent or parents and other people may also make promises to the child to be there to support them in the future. A Celebrant led ceremony can open up a world of possibilities You may want to include a custom from another country or culture in your ceremony. Here are just a couple of ideas you might like. Tasting the four elements Tasting the four elements is a tradition taken from the Yoruba culture. The four tastes are sour, bitter, hot and sweet. Traditionally they are vinegar, lemon, cayenne pepper and honey, however different foodstuffs can be used. Each element represents a different aspect of a couple’s life together. sour - acknowledges that there will be disappointments as well as successes, but the couple will offer each other love and support. bitter - every life experiences denial and rejection but each can offer guidance and wisdom. hot - for the spice and passion in an enduring relationship sweet - the abundance of life in all its stages. Facing the four directions This ritual has its roots in Native American culture. During the ceremony the couple turn to face each point of the compass. East - communication of the heart, mind and body, fresh beginnings with each sun rise. The light created as the sun rises lightens the darkness. South - the warmth of home, the spirit of growth and warm, gentle and refreshing breezes. West- the elements of water, the deep commitment of lakes, the swift excitement of rivers, the cleansing of rain, the passion of the sea. North - firm foundations to build on to build a happy and successful union. A Celebrant led ceremony can open up a world of possibilities You may want to include a custom from another country or culture in your ceremony. Here are just a couple of ideas you might like. Add a procession If you are planning to hold your ceremony outdoors why not think about adding a procession. In Viking times both families processed to the site the ceremony was to be held and as they did they played music. A butterfly release According to an American Indian Legend if anyone desires a wish to come true they must first capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it. Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly can not reveal the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all. In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit always grants the wish. So, according to legend, by making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom, the wish will be taken to the heavens and be granted. (Always ensure that the butterflies you release are a native species and upon release they will find a suitable food source and habitat.) A Celebrant led ceremony can open up a world of possibilities You may want to include a custom from another country or culture in your ceremony. Here are just a couple of ideas you might like. Ringing bells Bells are traditionally rung to keep evil spirits away and ensure harmony. It is an Irish tradition to also include bells within the bouquet as a reminder of the vows that have been made. Breaking glass In Italy many newlyweds smash a vase or glass at their wedding. The idea is that each fragment of the glass represents a year. Therefore the more pieces the glass smashes into the longer the marriage will last. Look out for more ideas in my next two posts. Or if you would like to discuss other ideas about what you can include in your ceremony why not contact me ? Here are five ways to let everyone know 1. Take a selfie 2. Have a professional photo shoot or arrange a Handfasting ceremony 3. Post a story 4. Throw a party 5. Wear your news on a t-shirt However you do it - have fun ! When you are ready to plan your day remember you have lots of options. I offer a free consultation if you have questions about having a Celebrant lead ceremony and am always happy to chat. Why not complete my contact form and send me your enquiry ? We should all celebrate life's milestones, whether they be small ones or big ones. What better way to celebrate than gathering family and friends together to mark the occasion. I create bespoke ceremonies for all occasions - weddings, namings, renewal of vows and commitment ceremonies. Why not contact me using the form in the contact section and we can discuss your plans. Did you know that I offer a free initial consultation, so that we can meet informally to talk about your plans ? I understand that getting the right Celebrant to create and conduct your ceremony for your important day is a top priority. So please make contact via my website. I look forward to hearing from you. |
AuthorChoosing a Celebrant to help you create that special ceremony is an important step towards making your occasion a really memorable one. Why not take advantage of the free initial meeting I offer ? I believe it is important to meet informally to discuss your ideas and what I can offer. Meeting also gives us an opportunity to explore the type of ceremony that would best suit your needs. Archives
October 2023
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