During a Naming ceremony parents may make promises to their child about how they will support them.

These promises are witnessed by those who have gathered to welcome the child into their community.  They form the cornerstone of the relationship which will develop between the child and those who love them.

Promises are very personal and they will be different for each family. I consider a good starting point for any parent when considering what they might write are the wide selection of poems about Parents and their children

Extract from "Parents wishes," author unknown

"We wish you a childhood full of fun and games,
And we wish you memories that have little pain.
We wish you to learn by making mistakes,
We wish you to love and never to hate.
We wish you the strength to make up you own mind,
But we wish that your heart will be gentle and kind."

​Next week: Symbolic actions

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If you choose to have a Wedding ceremony led by a Celebrant then you have the freedom to write your own vows and promises.

Vows are usually said when you exchange your rings and use more formal language.  Promises may be shared at any point in the ceremony and are usually very personal and reflect the unique wishes of the couple.

For some the idea of writing your own vows and promises can be a little daunting. So here are my top five tips for writing your vows and promises.

• Keep vows fairly short and focus on how you will individually support the partnership.  
• At the start of your vow state your name and then what you vow to do eg  "I, Grace vow to be your wife."
• Promises can be longer and be written in a more informal way.  You can mention more personal aspects of your relationship such as, "I promise to remove any spiders from the shower."
• Collect a few samples of vows or promises and use them as inspiration but limit the number otherwise you can become overwhelmed.
• Speak them out loud and see how they sound and make you feel.

Next week:  Writing parents' promises

I am sure that like many other people I have come to realise how important my nearest and dearest are to me in the past months.

I am looking forward to getting together with family and friends to celebrate the occasions we missed.

For some couples this might be an opportunity to acknowledge new relationships or celebrate the strength of long standing partnerships.

Why not consider making the occasion extra special by including a bespoke ceremony ?

In my next series of blogs I will be talking ideas which can be included in a special ceremony.

​Next week:  Writing your own vows.

Sequel Weddings are set to become the new trend as we move into the New Year but this is not a new idea as the idea of multiple wedding ceremonies is already well established in a variety of different religions and cultures.  

So, in these days of restrictions it may well be an excellent solution.

Perhaps you have already chosen to have a simple registry office marriage and complete all the legal requirements.  If so then  why not plan a  more lavish celebration when restrictions ease.

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Micro weddings are weddings with less than 20 guests.

A Micro wedding offers a more intimate ceremony as everyone who wishes can be involved. 

A Celebrant led ceremony can be held anywhere at any time so they are ideal for Micro weddings.

If this appeals to you then please make contact.

As Celebrant-led ceremonies are all bespoke it is possible to include all the people you wish to be included.  Friends and family can be involved by reading poems or performing songs. 

Where numbers permit you can also involve everyone using a symbolic action; within a Naming or Welcoming ceremony the invited guests may form a circle of support around the parents and child. 

A ring warming is a good way to include guests when undertaking a Wedding or Commitment ceremony.
 
You may also wish children from previous partnerships to be included and acknowledge the new roles and relationships that have been created.

Each ceremony I create is unique and is based on your wishes and dreams.

The starting point for any ceremony is a shared conversation.

If it is possible, I prefer to meet people face to face or via a video call. During our discussion we can talk about your ideas, I can make suggestions and we can get to know each other. 

Using all of this I then create a draft script.  The script may go through a number of revisions until it is exactly right.  

There are many elements which can be blended to make the perfect ceremony and these include

• Poetry
• Prose
• Music
• Symbolic actions
• Religious content
• Participation of family and friends

​The most common types of Celebrant led family and couples ceremonies are Weddings, Namings, Commitment and Renewal of vows.  Within these categories are a wide variety of styles and possibilities.
 
Weddings

A wedding ceremony is conducted after a couple legally marry.  Registering your marriage should be done at a Registry Office in the presence of two witnesses. 

There are a number of reasons why you might choose to marry and then have a wedding ceremony including the freedom to celebrate where, when and how you wish. (Dependent on the local restrictions in place at the time).

Every ceremony I conduct is tailor-made to each couples requirements.   

Personal choice of music, poetry and readings can be woven into the ceremony.

Symbolic actions such as exchanging rings, lighting candles, a sand ceremony, releasing doves, exchanging love letters  or creating unique items to cherish are just a few of the things that can be included.

As an Independent Celebrant I am  also happy to include some religious elements, if you want this.
 

Naming Ceremonies and Welcoming ceremonies

A naming ceremony is suitable for children of all ages.  It is an ideal way of bringing family and friends together to formally welcome the newest member or members to the family.  It is also an appropriate way to welcome an adopted child or children from a previous partnership.

During a Naming ceremony parents make promises to their child or children and share their hopes and dreams for their futures.  Other adults too can pledge their support some as Supporting Adults who will play a significant part in the child or children’s lives or Grandparents.

A naming ceremony is a wonderful family occasion and can include elements such as tree planting, lighting a candle, a circle of support or gifts.

A Welcoming ceremony is very similar to a Naming ceremony and such ceremonies are often used to welcome an older child whose has been adopted. The aim of the ceremony is to acknowledge the new relationship and for the child  or children to be welcomed into their new family and community.
 
 
Commitment Ceremony

A Commitment ceremony is very similar to a Wedding ceremony in its structure and can be offered where a couple wish to acknowledge their love and commitment to each other without undertaking any legal contract.

 
Renewal of vows
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Ceremonies can take place where, when and how you wish.

Where a legal marriage has taken place a couple might choose to have a Renewal of vows ceremony to celebrate a significant wedding anniversary.

A Renewal of vows can also be incorporated into a family occasion to celebrate a Marriage which may have taken place abroad more than twelve months previously.
 
 
 

When considering the person who will lead your ceremony my advice would be to have a discussion with a number of Celebrants and then choose the person who you feel you can work with.   

​Each Celebrant has their own style and approach so it’s just a case of finding the person you have a connection with. 

So if you are planning your special day why not get in touch and we can have a chat about how I could put your ideas into a ceremony which is reflective of you as a couple.